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Is there an online poker site you'd like to review? |
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Tell Us About It! |
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Poker Metro |
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Pro Rating :
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User Ratings :
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Avg. Rating :
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| Reviewed By Kris Takahashi |
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About Poker Metro |
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Poker Site
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Summary Review
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Poker Metro is a relatively new online poker area that boasts, among other things, a chance to play with a pseudo-mob. However, even the pseudo-mob is missing in action, which leads one to wonder what happens when you fake something fake if it somehow turns real. While you contemplate that bit of pseudo-wisdom, I present to you Poker Metro, a site that is quite possibly on acid.
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Year Started
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2004
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Country
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Canada
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Languages
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English
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Overall Rating
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Average site, rates 3 out of 5 stars.
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Poker Metro Online Poker Features |
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Size Rating
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Player Feedback Rating
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Customer Service Rating
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Banking Rating
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Game Play Rating
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Game Selection Rating
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Security Rating
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Recommended For
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all
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Deposit Types
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Citadel
Click2Pay
Credit Card
Delta
EcoCard
Firepay
NETeller
PaySpark
Use My Bank
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Withdrawal Terms
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Poker Games
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7 Card Stud
Omaha High
Omaha Hi/Lo
Poker (5 card draw)
Texas Hold'em
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Rake
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$0.25 to $3.00
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Play Multiple
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1
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Play Free
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1
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Limits
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Fixed limit games, Pot limit, No limit
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Recent Promotions
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Texas Hold 'em Bad Beat Jackpot
Magic Hand
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Bonuses
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Bonus Description
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Tournaments
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Security
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128 SSL
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Poker Metro Pros & Cons |
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Pros
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Large tourney purses
Diverse games
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Cons
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Small bonuses
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Poker Metro Review |
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Reviewed by
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Kris Takahashi
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The Company
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Poker Metro is licensed by the Kahnawake Gaming Commission in the Mohawk Territory of Kahnawake, Canada.
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Site Navigation
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Fair
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Site Response Speed
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Average
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Services Offered
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Poker Room
Tournament Play
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User Experience
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Average
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Full Review
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The Poker Website and Registration
Play with the mob! The Hendon mob! At least that's what the people at Poker Metro tell me, although when I click on the link, such an outfit is nowhere to be seen. And I was so looking forward to learning about this "Hendon Mob," how they came to be, what affiliations they may have to the more famous mobs like Gotti, Capone and Marlon Brando, but alas there was no information to be found. On the other hand, I'm not sure why playing with the mob is a promotion in the first place. What next, sex tips from A.C. Green?
Poker Metro does offer a number of deposit options, from NETeller to the more obscure PaySpark and UseMyBank. UseMyBank? Holy Christ, what a ridiculous name. In response, I am immediately starting my own company, it's called GiveMeMoneyRightNowStupid. In other words, self explanatory names are not the most professional sounding of companies. I don't agree with it, but the world will be what it is regardless of my complaints.
Playing Online Poker
Now that you've downloaded the software and have paid the appropriate mob boss, you are ready to begin play. Poker Metro offers six multi-player games and based on their use of exclamation points and large fonts on their website, they are awfully excited about each and every one. Those games include Texas Hold 'em, 7 Card Stud, 5 Card Stud, Omaha, Omaha Hi/Lo and 1 on 1 Poker. Now personally, I see no reason to offer such ridiculously random games such as 5 Card Stud and this 1 on 1 Poker, which is like offering bets on Arena Football and professional spelunking. However, there are individuals who enjoy such sports, so if you are, Poker Metro is the place to be.
On the tourney front, there are freerolls for you cheapskates and WPT and EPT satellites for you dreamers. As for the rest of you schmucks, there are weekly 100K guaranteed tourneys and daily 25K guaranteed tourneys. Not too shabby if I say so myself. And I did. So there. Bastard.
Bonuses and Poker Promotions
Here is where you take all the good vibes from the tourneys and deposit them in the toilet. If you're a bonus hunter, that is. The bonuses are paltry at best, when you consider there is a 50% matchplay up to $50 and that's all she wrote. Sure, there are bad beat jackpots and random "magic hand" bonuses of $250, but as far as bonuses you will actually see in your lifetime, it's 50% and not a penny more.
Online Poker Customer Service
Just like its delusional retard sister, Aztec Riches Poker, Poker Metro offers no phone service to aid you when the cards start coming out of your screen and walk right into your mouth, choking you to death. Of course, I suppose if that did happen, you wouldn't be able to talk anyway. Which might have been the thought process when Poker Metro added live chat and email. However, without phones, you won't be able to resolve anything if the software somehow melts your keyboard. In any case, when I chatted to the live operator about the Hendon Mob putting a hit on my neighbor, they responded with such ignorance that it has led me to believe the Hendon Mob is at best a third rate crime organization.
Overall Poker Rating
As a mob outfit, Poker Metro fails miserably. My neighbor is still alive and I feel the sheer incompetence of the Hendon clan is to blame. As a poker site, however, Poker Metro does have its selling points, mainly the large cash tournaments. With 75 to 100K tourneys offered weekly and 25K tourneys offered daily, there is some coin to be won, some cheddar to be eaten, some greenbacks to be collected.
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